SUV moment

I love peace and am trying to be a big person, trying to say It's okay I'll do fine, trying to say I can innovate, but it pisses me off that I have two new competitors who are not playing fair by ripping off others. My mind is consumed by how I am going to crush them. I mean, that's how any normal business owner would react, right? It's not me being malicious, this is just a normal reaction!

Dear Competitors:

First Competitor, your website is an obvious copy of mine. You know, some people try to be creative and take pride in their original work. Maybe you should try it, you'll know what I mean. People say imitation is the best compliment, but I am highly offended that you would flat-out rip me off! Honestly, if you changed your site to not resemble mine, I'd be cool with you. But now I'm sorry to tell you this pool is not big enough for two fish. I've got tricks up my sleeve.

Second Competitor, you are hogging all the ad space. You are entitled to that, because all it takes is $, but it is totally unethical of you to steal an image from another person's site. If it were from my site, I would hunt you down and bitch slap you for that. You can't take a simple picture yourself, you have to steal it from someone else? And your aggressive ad placement just screams inferiority complex.

Prepare to get crushed.