It's O.K., we're not cool.

Me: I was a cowgirl for Halloween, and everyone told me it was boring.
Jen: I was a cowgirl for Halloween one time, and everyone said it was boring too. Actually, I was a cowgirl two years in a row.

Still get sad

but without it I might just be angry.

What I hate most in the world

When I say to myself, after work, "Wait, was I supposed to leave work just now? Crap. I hope no one's mad at me for leaving."

I love this story

This is how low Hong Kong's crime rate is. When the police force isn't goofing off (I say this with utmost affection) making a hotpot dinner, it is out on a crackdown of ... pickpocketing prostitutes. I heart Hong Kong:

SCMP, August 7

Two African women were sentenced to nine months in prison yesterday after they stole a wallet from a policeman pretending to be a drunk Wan Chai bar customer.

Judith Karimi and Josephine Nkatha Kenyan John, both from Kenya, were arrested in a police crackdown on pickpockets in the bar areas of Wan Chai and Lan Kwai Fong.

Each pleaded guilty in Eastern Court to one count of theft.

The court heard that the policeman, who had arrived in the area about an hour and a half earlier, was approached by John outside a bar on Luard Road at about 5am.

She chatted with him until they were joined half an hour later by Karimi who introduced herself as "Maria" and said she was from Ethiopia.

They sat on a step outside another bar where the policeman put his head in his hands, pretending to be drunk, and John massaged his back while talking to Karimi in a presumably African language. The officer then felt fingers in his trouser pocket take hold of the wallet, containing HK$640, and saw Karimi pass it to John.

Karimi shouted across the street to two other African women. John was holding a number of banknotes, trying to pass them to the women. The policeman then declared his identity and arrested them.

In mitigation, Karimi, 31, told Deputy Magistrate Kennis Tai Chiu-ki that she was involved in the case only because John asked her to help. She agreed "because the intention was to help [John] get medical fees for her son". Lawyer Alan Lo said John, 35, was a single mother taking care of a 12-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter.

In the first half of the year, police dealt with 12 pickpocket cases around Lockhart Road.

All bases covered

Never seen such a thoughtful, thorough rendition of this before:

Most major religions represented in this shrine to the gods of everything. Just in case. Taken at friend's parents' house while all were away, helping to check in on her cat. (And yes, I think it's totally ridiculous.)

ella ella ella

The unnecessary umbrella stacking is back, this time at a level befitting extreme Typhoon days.

It's so dumb. Everyone's cubicle is actually spacious enough to accommodate an individual umbrella. People obviously do this for some kind of solidarity reason: We're all in this together.

Fashion Rant

Can someone please help me out here. Tell me it's not just me. How on earth do people wear dresses or tops with belts like the one pictured on the right? So many times have I attempted to try on a dress which didn't look quite right, when a saleswoman grabs a biggish belt and straps it around my rib cage. TIGHT. Like corset tight. And dang, it looks good! But, hello, I can't breathe. What the heck? Even skinny belts on dresses restrict my airflow so much that I have to take it off midday. Everyone I've spoken to about this problem says it's just me, but I refuse to believe it. Belts on dresses do not work or make sense, right? Right??

Announcement

I paid for expensive eye cream for the first time ever.

I've used eye cream on and off since around age 12. Way more off than on. And usually it's been free: large samples from high-end brands, small samples from high-end brands, lots of ones my mom got and didn't like. And I bought Olay-type ones maybe twice, only to use it about twice and give up the grand eye-cream plans.

Until ... now! Thou shalt not age without putting up a fight.

I walked into Clinique and told the unknowledgeable salesman to give me the most expensive of the four eye creams that they sold.

Will report back in a few months.

By the way, I've become weirdly loyal to Clinique. Not exactly sure what marketing voodoo they've been using on me. Although I only use their Moisture Surge face gel (which I highly recommend if you have combo/oily skin) and now Repairwear Intensive Eye Cream, I only use four skin products total (the other two are Murad). I also use one of their polymer mascaras and can't be bothered to research other brands' so just stick with it ... looks like they've got me.

Hey Miss American Girl!

I think I blog this every Olympics -- either in relation to gymnastics in the summer or figure skating in the winter. I love America, and I admire Americans, no matter how unpopular they are these days.

Here I am watching American gymnastics while the rest of Hong Kong is watching diving and fawns over the Chinese, shoo-ins for gold every four years.

Diving is pretty boring, truth be told.

But the reason I love America, and American gymnastics, is these crazy athletes do what they do because they get a kick out of it. Because they are drawn to it. They are driven by it. Because it's fun. Because they want to be the best in it. Because they are crazy.

They do not do it because their government interviewed their parents before they were born and shipped them as little kiddies to dormitories and training facilities where all they do is their sport for the next 10 years so they might represent their country in world events. Playing because it's all they know, to be waved around by their countries, and for the sake of government prize money.

This is why America is a great country, and I love it even though no one has ever instructed me to. It's where people excel as a choice.

And that this gymnast Jordyn Wieber didn't make the all-around event and cried ... I know it's sad for her but girl, you're an Olympian!

As Adam Duritz once wailed, "American girls, all weather and noise ... you made me cry, you made me cry, you made me cry!"

Ooh, my building has a door man, I must be rich. And a dick.

Thoughts on Dark Knight Rises before I read any reviews ***SPOILERS GALORE***

Things I liked:
-Anna Hathaway's character: her fight scenes, her apartment, her outfits, her hair, her mask.
-The subtle jokes (that perhaps are only found funny by me? At least seems that way in a HK theater).
-When the bats flew around as Bruce was about to jump.
-I was really happy for Bruce Wayne when, after losing all his money, he got to keep his house. So in other words, everything's awesome. And this means I have been living in HK for too long.
-No Katie Holmes.

Things I rolled my eyes at:
-Big plot hole: I don't think the rebel "citizens" (ie. criminals and some poor people) would willingly die by nuclear bomb, hello.
-I just hate fake deaths that are made to be very emotional. If you're gonna do a death that's obviously going to turn out to be fake just moments later (tip off: Anne Hathaway didn't attend the mini-funeral), don't have Alfred all devastated and the audience feeling bad -- and then go, just kidding! It's just a waste of time and feeling. (Worst offender: the Battlestar Galactica episode where everyone thinks Starbuck is dead and they spend a whole entire episode depressed and memorializing. But then of course, "Just kidding, why would we ever kill off Starbuck?")
-I'm surprised they didn't take the mask off of Bane (?) to reveal something scary, like they did with Harvey Dent.
-The whole thing felt mushed. It felt like eating mashed potatoes instead of a baked whole one, fully loaded, like the Dark Knight. And the whole thing felt gray.
-Fighting Bane. Not fun to watch.
-That the police would march timidly with no weapons into gunfire...what?
-So tired of movies that make reference to the world of finance vs. the Occupy movement.
-That portrait of Harvey Dent they keep holding up. Why is his face not centered in it? I just want to go in there and crop it so he's not crooked.

Suggested way to spend Thursday solo:

Scream 4 on HBO

Job hunting circa 2012

ok, this one position im looking at requires "5 years experience working in social media." HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!?

--Justin H., via chat

Things Jared typed :\

[via chat on June 15]

is it due before or on June 15th :\
can you take a look at my tax return form
how do they expect people to do them if they've never done it before.
maybe im doing the wrong form
maybe i shuld just give you my login
i dont think there was a section for that
what happens if i dont file
are we US resident aliens?
im not a dependent right
are you sure i hvae to do taxes?
its so annoying!
i have errors but cant find them.

(Pretty much my thought process every year in June, while tearing out hair and making funny noises for a few hours.)

Little Tragedies

Among all the disturbing news in today's paper, this is the one that made me "WHAT?!" out loud:

It is understood [Zara] will also pay HK$10 million a month for 47,000 sq ft of ground-floor space at Lane Crawford House in Central, after rival H&M's lease expires later this year.

NNNNOOOOoooooooo! No more H&M in Central :( SUCKS.

Quote

The tabletop between them was littered with phone books, pencils, three-by-five index cards boxed and loose, road maps, cigarette ashes, a transistor radio, roach clips, coffee cups, and an Olivetti Lettera 22, into which Doc, mumbling, "Just start a ticket on this," inserted a sheet of paper which appeared to have been used repeatedly for some strange compulsive origami.

--Page 15, Inherent Vice, Thomas Pynchon

(The latest in an ongoing series of sightings of the word origami in a novel read by me.)

Pants are for public

Sometimes I feel bad about interviewing people over the phone in my underwear.

Un-PC in Private

"Sorry, if you look on any news website it's all about Mad Men. Tibetans don't count this week."

--Mark

LOL'd three times reading these two paragraphs

Long-suffering Northwesterners still waiting for Cats to make NCAA 

My alma mater, Northwestern, is on the bubble. You already know this, just as you already know that Northwestern has never been to the NCAA tournament, largely because every sports media outlet seems to be overflowing with Northwestern alums like myself who can't stop talking about it. 

Two in particular, ESPN's Michael Wilbon and CNBC's Darren Rovell, aren't shy about their passion for all things purple. Both have chronicled their tortured existence during the Wildcats' nerve-racking quest to end their 73-year NCAA drought this year. "Surely, somebody will call and tell me about it because I cannot watch ... It's too excruciating," Wilbon, the PTI co-host, wrote recently. "When I die, the cause of death might be Northwestern basketball," Rovell tweeted after yet-another heartbreaking Big Ten defeat.

Full story here

What a dumb-ass hog.

Yes, YOU, Henry Tang.

MORNING MEETING

Stephanie: [wearing a pink top] you guys have no holiday spirit.
Emily: [wearing normal beige clothes] It's not a holiday.
Stephanie: Isn't Valentine's Day a holiday? It's not a day off, but it's a holiday. Right?
Me: [wearing normal gray clothes] A Hallmark holiday.
Stephanie: Isn't it, like, a religious holiday?
Me: ... As in, Saint Valentine?
Stephanie: Yeah, Saint Valentine's Day.
Me: So ... are you doing anything tonight?
Stephanie: We're not sure yet. My husband might cook dinner.
Me: Aw.
Stephanie: What about you guys?
Me: Oh. We're like in breakup mode, or something.
Stephanie: What?!
Me: Mm.
Stephanie: Are you having a fight?
Me: I dunno.
Stephanie: Valentine's Day is not a holiday!
Me: O.K.

###

... love had trained her to see the world through his eyes, and through his eyes this place was a vapid dump.

--The Art of Fielding

You know what

By not buying a super cheap ticket to Tokyo for 2-3 days, I can buy 40 non-happy hour drinks.

"It's so obvious to me that writing is the only thing you're passionate about."

It's less obvious to me, but I'll take a view from the outside.

Why do people have to suck on Facebook? Why do they have to post pictures of stuff they buy? And talk about their wine-tasting classes? And post endless pictures of their babies' daily milestones? And update everyone about their minor health problems? And PLATITUDES... in the form of pictures. Without irony. What. It's a forum made for passive-aggression. And self-everything.

Ugh

riled up

From the WSJ:

For the last 15 years he has conducted surveys every six months on how strongly local residents identify as Hong Kong citizens, Chinese citizens, and other permutations. 

In December, the Hong Kong citizens score hit a 10-year high, while the Chinese citizens score fell to a 12-year low—almost certainly as a result of vote-rigging in the District Council elections, which local media have tied to the Communist Party's underground organization in in the territory.

A few years ago, I was asked by a suspected Communist Party member to vote for the pro-China party in the District Council elections, and he also wanted me to ask my family members to do the same. I told him to go fuck himself. OK, I didn't. I just smiled and turned to the person next to me and said, "I think that's illegal."

The most pathetic thing about the D&G hullaballoo is...

NO ONE SHOPS AT D&G ANYMORE ANYWAY.

D&G, FACE IT, IT'S NOT THE 90s ANYMORE. WE KNOW YOU WERE/ARE ONLY CATERING TO THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

I hate the world today

(and channeling Meredith Brooks)

Makes me want to do this: