I love today

Today is the first hot day of the year in Evanston, and it makes me very happy. It just makes drivers and pedestrians seem nicer, and every song on the radio sound perfect, and I parallel park gorgeously, and the stained glass on the churches shimmer and shine against the backdrop of blue sky and fluffy clouds, even the bare tree branches look more like beginnings than ends (they'll soon be covered in bright pink and white flowers before the leaves grow in), and the old-world Evanston smell of brick and mortar remind me of days of yore that I didn't live through but must've been cool with Victorian houses and the Temperance Movement, and perfect suburbia. When summer comes all the students will be away and I can go spend some quality time with Lake Michigan and green pastures, trees, trees, and more trees, and hundreds of wild rabbits and ducks (and mutant fish) by Northwestern's lagoon.

The downside is I'll soon hate the heat and think I love winter. Sucks.

Gilmore Girls & Scrubs

I love Jess. I've never even liked Rory, with her goody-two-shoes ways, perfect hair, beautiful dresses and cool preppy clothes, flawless taste, selfishness, wastefulness, stupidity in relationships, brilliance even though you never see her study, etc., etc. I have issues with Rory.

And Jess, what an annoying ass he used to be all the time, acting all immature as high-school boys can, being an all-around "bad" kid, even though he was obviously really intelligent and especially into literature. He was extremely immature all the way until he "left" the show three (?) seasons ago.

But I always loved him and Rory together. Together, Rory turned stupid, and Jess turned nice.

And I especially can't stand Rory these days, with idiot frowny Logan, so when she went to see Jess, I thought Yay they'll rekindle, but no, she is too stupid and Jess politely asks her to leave. What an idiot!!!

Scrubs alluded to House, by the way.

Kelso: [to Dr. Cox] You're so uncaring and cantankerous, you're like House without the limp.

Why Yahoo's Sitebuilder program is super lame

My online store was created using Yahoo Sitebuilder. It is currently the only program I am willing to use b/c I use Yahoo Merchant Services which is like super compatible with it (to do shopping cart, etc.), and since I suck at computer stuff, I pretty much have to use this program. But this website building program is so lame!!! This is how:

1) All hyperlinks have to be underlined. LAME. Looks crowded and ugly.
2) Can't do borders on images or text boxes. LAME.
3) No "autoshapes," including lines. The borders on my site are actually images!
4) Custom text colors cannot be saved to reuse.
5) Absolutely no image editing, including cropping.
6) Can't do "master" template; have to change EACH page manually.

I'm sure I'll think of more...

"work"

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/142058107.html

mass destruction, idiots, God, Katrina

Whenever I see a city skyline at night, a chill runs up my spine. During 9/11, I was in HK, watching it on TV at night (the broadcast interrupted Weakest Link HK version), at the same time staring out of my future husband's apartment's window at the vast and calm and sparkly HK skyline. It was eerie, wondering why this was happening 12 time zones away, while right outside the window everything is still. I was waiting for a fireball to come hurling out of the sky. (The world is that small to me.) Which is what I wait for every time I see a city skyline at night, something bad to happen. Night time is darker to me than most.

Sometimes I imagine what if the Earth lost gravity and everything left the ground and we all die. I pretty much imagine daily what a nuclear bomb explosion will be like; you know, like will I be dead before I hear the rumble, will I feel my skin peel off, will it be a ball of fire like in "Terminator"? As you can imagine, I nightmare about airplane malfunctions. And these thoughts occur only at night, which is why I have a love-hate relationship with the night.

(Going on tangent now...)
I hate when people act like they know what God's thinking, including preachers. It's fine to say definite things or guess based on scripture, but no one knows what He's thinking really if it's not spelled out. Like when idiots say Katrina happened because God wanted to punish New Orleans. OK, we all know those people are idiots. But then some famous evangelist says God was so NOT punishing New Orleans, because if he were to punish, he'd do it to a place like Las Vegas first. Right? What? Are you stupid? Firstly, he can't make assumptions one way or another--maybe God was punishing, maybe not, how is he supposed to know?? Secondly, why is it that people always use logic to explain the metaphysical? How does he know there wasn't some crazy bad terrorist in New Orleans that God had to kill; conversely, how does he know there wasn't a couple of future Mother Teresa's in Las Vegas? Maybe something worse would've happened. Maybe He was getting our attention about compassion. Maybe something good will come out of it in 500 years. WHO KNOWS???

Things on my mind

1) Blogs are weird

[Veronica opens the door to find a prostitute-looking woman standing outside.]
Veronica: [smiles] Dad, your hooker's here.
Keith: "Escort," honey. Go to your room and do your... blog, or whatever it is you kids do these days.

--from last week's episode of Veronica Mars

It is weird having a blog and also a journal, because you have to share and multiply your total amount of devotion to each. One being the things you want to shout to the world, the other being things you want to keep all to yourself. A while back I re-read my old journals, starting from 1995, and they were RIVETING! I was seriously rooting for my younger self and feeling sad for my younger self. Blogs, on the other hand... how honest are they really?


2) What I'm reading

On a separate note, I'm reading the most enchanting book called The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, unfortunately extremely slowly (about 60% through right now), due to my two jobs mostly. But this book is so good, I don't mind reading every lush sentence slowly to make sure I enjoy every word. I've already marked various passages that I love and want to type up and frame on the wall. It's that good, read it.


3) Jim Block, my high-school English teacher

Mr. Block to me is like Dr. Cox to J.D. Always seeking his approval, and approval is always at an arm's length. I think I am scarred for life.

Probably one of the least mean things he's said to me is a comment that I was wearing jewelry during P.E. class. Ahh, how I cling to that least-mean comment.

Gilmore Girls and Scrubs

Another frustrating episode of Gilmore Girls tonight. Frustrating because Rory and Lorelai are avoiding their issues with Logan and Luke, respectively. There was an AWESOME storyline about Zach and Lane, in which Mrs. Kim tells Zach he has to write a hit song and get a record deal if he wants to marry Lane, and she actually helps him write the song it's sooo funny. Zach is awesome! There was also a hilarious part in the beginning where Paris bitches Logan out HAHAHA. Logan's so annoying, he needs to tone down his acting man, stop with all the frowning. AHHH but Jess is gonna be in the next episode!!! I LOVE JESS! JESS ROCKS! YEAH JESS!

Then Scrubs had a really hilarious part about Gilmore Girls. It turns out Turk normally spends part of his off day watching Gilmore Girls (although he lied and said "anything on ESPN")...

Turk: [in front of the TV, talking to himself] Mothers and daughters. They talk so fast, but they talk so true.
[Turk's phone rings, he picks up]
J.D.: [at the hospital, on the phone] I am so mad at Lorelai!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Hmm... looming still is the question of the life of Gilmore Girls... it would be safe to bet that Gilmore Girls will be back for at least another season, since supposedly there's a cliffhanger ending for this season's finale. AND NOW I PRESENT... my absolute favorite Gilmore Girls screencap. It makes me immensely happy.

Grey's Anatomy again

Meredith Grey's life SUCKS. In tonight's episode, she found out she has two very happy and successful half sisters, and that her estranged dad is "so proud" of them. OMG, I was about to die. Can her life get any crappier???

Everything about Meredith is wrong, but everything about her is lovable. What an amazing character.

Thanks to Scrubs, I still laugh.

Thank you thank you thank you NBC, J.D., Dr. Cox, Turk, Elliott, Janitor, y'all are doing a great service to your fans.

People suck

I have been obsessing about global warming for years, mostly in my mind, and mostly by telling myself to take my mind off it, because I truly cannot do anything about it. But it is disconcerting to read Time's cover:

"BE WORRIED. BE VERY WORRIED. Climate change isn't some vague future problem--it's already damaging the planet at an alarming pace. Here's how it affects you, your kids and their kids as well."

When will people (legislators) get it in their thick heads that their lack of action is killing the Earth, a gift from God, filled with unique, amazing-looking, awe-inspiring, mechanically-perfect wildlife that has gone about their jolly old way until we cause them to suffer and die. How can people not just take one look at just one frog or butterfly and not be enchanted enough to do something.

Maybe I am just clinging to the world as I know it, maybe we as a human race need to progress into a world that doesn't give a care about freakin animals, and huge natural disasters that kill millions, and even less land to live on, and disturbing environments that haven't changed in 1000 years. People going around with their blinders on, doing what we need to do to get what we want. We are stupid enough for it.

So sometimes I just scream, Freaking global warming, and terrorists, and freaking nuclear weapons, gonna freaking kill us all, why don't people care about PEOPLE? Do people realize that it's not just ice caps and penguins and rain forests, we are talking about PEOPLE, our children, who will die, having breathed pollution, never having truly seen nature as we have, having to survive natural disasters, never seeing a white Christmas, never knowing the sky to be blue.

-----------

Two years ago I got into an argumentative discussion with someone I sat next to at work. I said gas should be more highly taxed in the US so people will stop wasting it, we can rely less on other countries for oil, global warming will be less severe, and the taxes can be put to environmental uses. He, a huge, white, shaved-head, deep-voiced Floridian thought I was being absurd, because it would cost too much for him to drive up to visit his mom, and overall travel would be too expensive, etc. OMG, idiot, why can't people in this country see travel as a privilege and not a right? Why can't they see everything we have, every one of our freedoms, as a privilege?

Control Freak, I am

Very tired around midnight last night, but of COURSE couldn't go to sleep because had to help my mom buy flowers for aunt in Hawaii, in addition to yesterday's saga of finding a good quote for my brother's yearbook's sponsorship page, and I'm actually also supposed to find my cousin a gift of around US$100 because she won the Sacramento-wide speech contest. I am the default appointee for all annoying things my mom won't do, can't do, or doesn't feel like doing.

So, was up for another hour trying to find the (grrrr) flowers that are located in Hawaii, so the shipping won't be crazy expensive and they'll probably get there in better shape if they just travel a few miles by truck. Wasn't very successful in finding those florists. Most had quite bad websites. Most had very unattractive selection. OH AND my mom requested that they be plants or foam arrangements, not in water in vases. What... so finally found a good looking website with a wide selection. Chose for a long time. Can't look too small or cheap, but since I am personally against buying expensive flowers, I didn't want anything too expensive. OK finally settle on an orchid plant that's of course exorbitantly priced, in my opinion, but ok fine whatever I NEED TO SLEEP. Check out, pay out of my own pocket, then confirmation page tells me it will be delivered on April 30, 2006. WHAT. At this point I cried for half a second. Normally would snap into damage-control mode, but there was literally not a thing I could do, so I had to wait 'til the next day noon before I can call Hawaii. Well, I still managed to call them (they were closed) and write them an email. But I really think the 4/30 date was just some kind of error. I better find out soon or I'll go crazy.

Troop 1500

Watching a documentary on PBS in a series called "Independent Lens," featuring works by independent filmmakers. This episode is called Troop 1500. It is so depressing. So there are these women in prison who have daughters on the outside. The girls belong to a girl scout troop formed to go to visit the moms so they can have a relationship and teach the girls not to continue the cycle of crime. It's sad, because you can tell how much the daughters and moms miss each other. But what really got me is one of the moms who was valedictorian and a nurse for 16 years, who euthanized one of her patients, and is sentenced to 50 years in prison, 25 years for parole. How can one even wake up in the morning, counting the days, just letting time pass you by.

They showed the girls going to a girl scout store where they have uniforms and badges. It so takes me back to one of the most nostalgic events of my life--Brownies. My most treasured possession, somewhere in a box in a storage room 7000 miles away, is my Brownies sash, gorgeously, perfectly adorned with badges. I was a pixie. Each group, the name of some spritely fairy-like creature, had a different badge, indistinguishable but magnificent. Where did all these badges come from? I never paid for them, as far as I knew. But I remember those Tuesday afternoons, passing the guard at Stanley fort who let unsuspicious Brownies through to go to the meetings in a gymnastics room. The sun was always setting, casting a melancholy, Norman Rockwell hue on the evening. How I miss making silly crafts and playing pointless games. The badges were easy to earn, just make cupcakes or take a swimming test or show your stamp collection or speak Chinese. Badges rule.

Sometimes our all-white-except-maybe-3-Chinese troop went to all-white girl-scout events that featured dancing and less-pointless games, like getting to know stranger British girl scouts from other troops in HK for a day. Where did all these ex-pats come from? Now I wonder. And the folksy dances, we learned them beforehand, but why and who decided? So many questions. Funny thing was, at these strange outdoor events featuring dancing and girl scout fun, one or two girls from each troop were actually appointed to enter some kind of pageant, and they got to dress super country girly with a floral circle thing on their head. I so wished everyone just wore those floral circle things in everyday life, the world would be a better place.

At midnight I am 25. I so don't want to grow up. The oblivion, the setting sun, the crafts, the songs, the troop leaders who are called "Owls" (wisdom, etc., get it?), the badges, the square knots, the British guard at the fort, the rituals, the skipping in a circle, the induction of new Brownies, the goodbye song to kick out overaged Brownies as they walk away on a bridge that is really an upturned bench, the brilliant conversion of a gymnastics room into a Brownie meeting area. Why can't our real lives be shaped like this, by creativity, attainable goals, celebrations, order, and innocence?

What color is my parachute

Haven't been blogging lately because too busy and also don't want to think about various annoying things.

Today's NCAA basketball game on TV: Bradley vs. Pittsburgh:

Then went to Barnes and Noble and got a book called What Color is Your Parachute, about career decisions (see, I AM going through a crisis). I read a little of it last time and found it very interesting. I've pretty much decided I am going to leave my job. I got a large raise, and my boss is gonna offer me something crazy good to work there full-time, with a contingency that I will have to close my business. So I thought about it and decided it would be against all my principles to take the job, especially one that I hate, especially only for the money. I'm gonna look for a new part-time job to fill the gap while I try to grow my business so that it will be the only thing I have someday soon. Anyway, stood in line at the Starbucks (BN in-house) coffee kiosk for about 20 minutes with just 2 ppl in front of me before I got my coffee. How is it that some people can just take their time when the whole world's waiting for them?? Why do these people have jobs?

Which reminds me, remember how I complained about the guy at Kinko's? Well, I got a phone call from them, asking for my alias. I was caught off-guard so I just said there's no such person. BUT I am dying to know what he was gonna say now. I will devise a stratagem to find out (very Amelie/Veronica Mars of me). I'm guessing the guy got fired, seriously, because when I went last time he wasn't there.

Ew.

I tend to hate and am not proud of it. I wish I could be one of those people who is just happy and accepting, but I can't help it, I HATE:

No. 1. TERRORISTS
No. 2. IDIOTS who think they are smart
No. 3. Those who hate everything
No. 4. Racism

I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND:

No. 1. A population that voted Bush Jr in again
No. 2. Certain hip hop/rap videos


OK SEE YA :)

I Heart Going to the Dentist

I had a very interesting and screwed up day at work today. I'm not gonna get into that. I had a dentist appointment right after work, which was the best destresser I could have had.

You have to experience my dental office to believe it. Dental Professionals of Evanston, that has 2 dentists, located in 1800 Sherman. OK first I walk in and there is a huge aquarium with tropical fish and the biggest hermit crabs you've ever seen. The receptionist, Daniela, is positively one of the prettiest people I know. I give her chocolate from Trader Joe's because she helped us file a claim with our health insurance that paid out the full amount $500 for my husband's bite guard. She went completely out of her way to file it, and she also went out of her way to change my appt, and insisted on it. She is one of the friendliest people I know. Being that friendly would exhaust me. She is very happy that I gave her chocolate.

Then the room with the chair. Outside the window, I swear, the most beautiful view of Evanston you will ever find. I just want to live there, inside the dentist's office. And there's a painting of a beachy scene right in front of the chair, which is strangely relaxing for its cheap hotel-room-painting quality.

Then I meet Jeff, my hygenist for the day. He asks me a hundred personal questions, which is one of those tactics to calm nervous patients. It works. Then some x-rays. He apologizes for the uncomfortable plastic things, which don't even bother me at all. Then comes the cleaning. Jeff has on these binocular glasses. It's all scrubbing and scraping, water and suction, repeat, repeat, repeat, amazing. Jeff says stains are his biggest pet peeve so he kept scrubbing and scraping and watering and suctioning the insides of my front teeth, because although it is inside, the teeth are transparent so the stains will show through. It was very relaxing just being able to LIE DOWN and not think and have someone fix me.

Then the dentist, Verena Phillips, comes in, definitely the prettiest dentist I've ever known, and she's super nice and inquisitive about my personal life, using the tactic. It works. I find out that my front teeth are the whitest possible on the whiteness scale, but my other teeth are straight-up yellow. Which is due to my use of OTC whitening things. She prods a little, then while I'm swishing floride, she says bye.

Then I pay, and Daniela is super bubbly and pretty and remembers I do origami, and I am super impressed, then I leave happy, as usual, because they are so great. I highly recommend that place to anyone living in Evanston. (After each visit to my dentist in Jacksonville, I had to go home to take a bath with aromatherapeutic oils.)

After I left, unfortunately, I was back to being stressed. I hate this.

Addiction

I have an addiction to sugar. I literally cannot eat things I previously liked because they are not sweet. I can hardly even eat Pringles. And before bed every night now I eat half a Fuji apple, a Haagen-Daz bar, a Yoplait yogurt, and orange juice. I'm an addict!

Freaking Out: Part 2

Argh! I just realized something. My google search term that drives the most sales is "buy origami." This is so messed up!!! Argh! Once Microsoft's Origami comes out, my "buy origami" search term will be useless! Seriously, if customers cannot find my website with search terms such as these when it comes out, I'll soon be saying "Microsoft drove me out of business." I have to start making sure word-of-mouth is alive and well.

I have just been able to confirm that this device is indeed called Origami. The marketing firm stupidly posted a video ad of it on their website (and pulled it) and it can be found here. The end of the ad clearly states its name, although the logo on the device is barely visible. Now I've lost all hope. No matter how much this device fails, it will still be sold all over the Internet.

Freaking out: Microsoft's "Origami Project"

Microsoft just announced their very secretive, very mysterious "origami project," which is apparently some kind of handheld device called Origami that's gonna be just huge (think iPod huge). This could potentially be VERY bad for the world of real origami. The top search engine results are gonna be for this device and not real origami. Will ads for origami sky rocket because of competition from the ads for the device? Will it be a nightmare for me, who often uses the phrase "I sell origami"? "I sell origami, the paper ones."

OR, it could be great for the world of real origami, because people who don't know what oriagmi is will stumble across it when searching for their high-tech gadget.

Argh.

Gilmore Girls (spoiler)

Another nice episode of Gilmore Girls tonight. Many interesting developments! Zero discussion about Luke and Lorelai, but Logan and Rory suddenly broke up, Doyle and Paris broke up, Rory and Paris got back together (so to speak), Lane and Zach get engaged, and we learn that Christopher has parenting issues.

Today's quotes--

Lane: I think pictures make me look too Asian.
Lorelai: [confused] Ming Na has the same problem.

Paris (to Rory): You can sleep on my bed if you want, I've been sleeping at the crafts table lately.

TV

OK 95% of people out there: TV is not all bad. It is GOOD for some people. Some people learn more about the world and themselves from TV than any other place. Some people are rarely happy and are able to squeeze out a few cheery moments in front of the TV. Some people have home businesses in which they pursue often tedious, repetitive tasks and watching TV is practically the only thing they can do at the same time to stay sane.

So stop talking bad about TV.

And here are shows I LOVE--
Lost: a serial that you have to watch every episode to get; enthralling, freaky.
Gilmore Girls: it's the town you secretly want live in. Watch it for the incredible dialog; you will wonder how the actors remember and recite all those lines while acting at the same time!!!
Veronica Mars: best for females who are teenagers at heart who like riveting storylines about murder and petty high-school mysteries
Las Vegas: a show about the best people living in the funnest city, and the occasional random hilarious scene, and great acting and vivid characters
Medium: the most realistic family ever portrayed. Entertaining storylines are a bonus.
Scrubs: watch this for the wittiest lines and funniest you-had-to-be-there moments EVER
America's Next Top Model: drama, drama, drama, but how many people have told me they watch it for the clothes??? WTF? Who cares?
Survivor: do you like to watch people arguing in public because it's entertaining? You'll love this.
Grey's Anatomy: their lives suck more than yours.
Oprah: um, I don't think I need to explain her greatness
Jeopardy!: fun to kick other people's butts with
Lat Night with Conan O'Brien: disgusting but simply the best
Nightline: BEST news show, on every night people, watch it!